Doyle: [to Columbo about the corpse] Good-looking broad except for the, uh, marks around her neck.
Mark Halperin: [to his wife] Darling, if you're embarrassed by all your millions, why don't you just sign them over to me? They wouldn't embarrass me in the least.
Columbo: You must have a lot of those, sir.
Mark Halperin: What?
Columbo: Gut feelings.
Mark Halperin: What're you talking about?
Columbo: Well, you had a gut feeling last night.
Mark Halperin: I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean "last night?"
Columbo: When you asked for me to report to the Caldwell house.
Mark Halperin: Yes?
Columbo: I found out that you asked for me when you first called in.
Mark Halperin: I did.
Columbo: What I mean, sir, is that the burglar had never harmed anybody before, yet from your bedroom window, when you called in, you asked for me. No, I was just trying to figure out how you knew that the woman was already dead.
Columbo: No, sir, we're looking for somebody else. We're looking for somebody... somebody who tried to make a murder look like a burglary.
Columbo: Commisioner, I believe you killed your wife, and I believe you either killed Janice Caldwell or you're covering up for it.
Mark Halperin: You just lost your badge, my friend.
Columbo: Mrs. Fernandez dusted the whole house - wax, polish, everything - including the bedroom. Now, the fingerprint people, they checked the handle on the closet door. Your wife's prints weren't on it. What I can't figure out is: How did she open the door and take out the nightgown without leaving any prints?
Columbo: I, uh, I looked at her body, and right away I saw on her finger the biggest diamond ring I ever saw in my life. Now, I gotta ask myself this question: What kind of burglar robs a house and leaves a ring like that on the victim's finger?
Mark Halperin: We found Mrs. Caldwell's jewels here in your apartment.
Mark Halperin: They were right under your mattress!
Artie Jessup: Hey man, I don't even live here!
Columbo: That's true, sir, I can attest to that.
[opens dresser drawers]
Columbo: He doesn't live here, *I* live here. These are my shirts, this is my underwear,
[takes out photographs]
Columbo: *my* brother-in-law, *my* nephew and niece.
Police Pilot: A little early in the evening for this burglar, isn't it, Commissioner?
Mark Halperin: You never know, Pete. Clocks don't mean a thing in an empty house, you know.
Columbo: Let me ask you something... how do you figure this guy? I mean, to me; a burglar is like a hungry alley cat. He sneaks around after dark, but if he hears something, he runs.
Lt. Duffy: Haven't you ever heard of Future Shock? The world's going to hell with itself! Believe me Columbo, times have changed.