Evil Roy Slade (1972 TV Movie)
Dom DeLuise: Logan Delp
Doctor Delp : Try harder, Roy. Try to cry. If you can release one tear, it'll help you
Evil Roy Slade : I don't know how to cry.
Doctor Delp : Think. Think harder. Think about your lonely youth: no friends, no home, no warmth, no affection... cactus in your diaper
[Slade starts sobbing]
Doctor Delp : Yes! Yes, there's a tear! We're curing you!
Doctor Delp : This is the ultimate test! I want you to shed your weapons... and walk across the room!
Evil Roy Slade : I cain't! I don't goin' nowhere without my guns! I even take a bath with my guns!
Doctor Delp : You don't NEED them, Roy! Take them off and walk! Oh Roy, try! Take off your weapons!
[Roy removes holster]
Doctor Delp : Good!... Is that everything?
[Roy reaches up his sleeve for a knife]
Doctor Delp : Whew! Anyting else?
[Roy removes gun from his sock]
Doctor Delp : Oh, a little one, huh? Ok. Is that all?
[Roy removes a bomb from behind his back]
Doctor Delp : Oh my goodness!
Evil Roy Slade : [wobbly & sounding retarded] Ahhhhhhhhhhheeeeeee! I got... no... weapons!
Doctor Delp : [moves across the room] Walk. Here, walk to me. WALK TO ME, ROY! WALK TO ME, ROY!
[Roy staggers & falls]
Doctor Delp : ROY!
Evil Roy Slade : I cain't! I cain't! I cain't do it! Cain't!
Doctor Delp : You CAN do it! Try again! Try again, Roy! Come on, Roy! Come on. Come on.
[staggers and falls again]
Doctor Delp : Ohhhhhh!
Evil Roy Slade : [sobbing!] I cain't do it!
Doctor Delp : You CAN do it!
Evil Roy Slade : I cain't!
Doctor Delp : Ack! Walk to me! Ohhh, Roy walk to me you sniveling little coward! Walk!
[Roy gets angry]
Doctor Delp : Oooh!
Evil Roy Slade : Who you callin'... A COWARD? Yeeeeeaahhh!
[gets up, lunges at Delp and strangles him]
Doctor Delp : [strangled voice] Roy! Roy, you did it. You walked without your gun!
Evil Roy Slade : Ahh... I did! A-ha-ha. I walked without my gun!
Doctor Delp : Oh Roy!
[hugs him mumbling 'I knew you could do it' as Roy looks awkward]
Evil Roy Slade : I KNEW he was one of them funny boys!