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Bizarre (1970)

Secrets of Sex (original title)
A brainy sex flick with a sense of humor, the film begins with a narrator/mummy who guides us through a number of vignettes promising to show what some of us go through in the pursuit of ... See full summary »

Director:

Antony Balch
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Richard Schulman Richard Schulman ... The Judge
Janet Spearman Janet Spearman ... The Judge's Wife
Dorothy Grumbar Dorothy Grumbar ... Photographer
Anthony Rowlands Anthony Rowlands ... The Model
Norma Eden Norma Eden ... Norma - the Photographer's Assistant
George Herbert George Herbert ... The Steward
Kenneth Benda ... Sacha Seremona
Yvonne Quenet Yvonne Quenet ... Mary-Clare
Reid Anderson Reid Anderson ... Dr. Rilke
Sylvia Delamere Sylvia Delamere ... The Nurse
Cathy Howard Cathy Howard ... The Cat Burglar
Mike Britton Mike Britton ... The Burgled Man (as Mike Briton)
Maria Frost Maria Frost ... Lindy Leigh
Peter Carlisle Peter Carlisle ... Col. X
Stephen Preston ... Philpott (as Steve Preston)
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Storyline

A brainy sex flick with a sense of humor, the film begins with a narrator/mummy who guides us through a number of vignettes promising to show what some of us go through in the pursuit of sexual pleasure. There's a fabulous ten minute opening, where the half naked go go dancers have vegetables thrown at them. One of the tales features a female photographer who tortures a male model. Another has a female burglar (Cathy Howard) caught by the house owner. The craziest involves a nerd hiring a blond call girl (Sue Bond) in pursuit of a menage-a-trois with his pet lizard; and there's a endearing misadventure with secret agent Lindy Leigh (Maria Frost) who does topless safecracking. Written by Manfred Gluck

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

The Film They Tried To Stop! See more »

Genres:

Comedy | Fantasy | Horror

Certificate:

R | See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

UK

Language:

English

Release Date:

March 1970 (UK) See more »

Also Known As:

Bizarre See more »

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Box Office

Budget:

GBP40,000 (estimated)
See more on IMDbPro »

Company Credits

Production Co:

Balch, Noteworthy Films See more »
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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Mono

Color:

Color (Eastmancolor)

Aspect Ratio:

1.66 : 1
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Co-writer Elliott Stein came up with the idea of the talking mummy narrating the film in order to link all the segments together. See more »

Quotes

The Mummy: Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to...
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Alternate Versions

Towards the end of his life Balch distributed in the UK what was known as 'Secrets of Sex/short version' which cut the film down to 30 minutes. See more »

Connections

Featured in Naked Came the Stranger (1975) See more »

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User Reviews

 
It lives up to the title.
28 September 2017 | by BandSAboutMoviesSee all my reviews

What happens when you combine British portmanteau films, William S. Burroughs cut-up techniques, 1970's philosophy, British men's magazines like Mayfair and throw in a mummy? You get a sheer burst of pure insanity like Bizarre.

Also known as Secrets of Sex, the film starts with the story of a king who found his wife's lover and trapped him in a chest. This theme of trapping lovers carries on throughout the film.

But never mind all that. Let's meet our narrator — a mummy voiced by Valentine Dyall (The Haunting, Bedazzled and the voice of Count Karnstein in Lust for a Vampire). He's here to tell us all about the battle of the sexes. Just listen to his words, as half-naked women and men fill the screen, one at a time: "Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine the consequences."

We're then on the front row of this battle, with women in underwear facing off with me grasping machine guns. The women have vegetables thrown at them as the men advance. One of the women, a blonde, stares down the men, who fall to her beauty before she removes a straight razor from between her legs.

Alright — let me be perfectly honest. Your ability to enjoy this film totally depends on the amount of drugs in your system, how late you're watching it and your tolerance for 1970's experimental filmmaking. If you're been reading this site for any length of time, you know that this movie was pretty much made for me and sent forward 47 years into the future.


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