With Six You Get Eggroll (1968)
Molly the Maid: [in front of Jake, Abby's date for the evening] Mrs. McClure! Now I need to put the meat on broil but your hair is on bake. Which should I do first?
Abby McClure: [humiliated] I think the *hair*, Molly.
Molly the Maid: False hair, false eyelashes, false bosoms. In my day women were flesh and blood, now they're 70% nylon and 30% foam rubber.
Abby McClure: Pretty, huh. Why shouldn't he date a young chick? Why take the bus when you can fly?
Jason McClure: Can I sleep with you, Mommy?
Abby McClure: Go! Get moving!
Jake Iverson: There's nothing wrong with that. I was just going to ask you the same thing.
Maxine Scott: You're a great help to me. What am I supposed to say to this man? "Hi, I'd like you to meet my sister, the girl with the golden arm and her hair in the oven."
Abby McClure: [During a raucous party] If this wasn't my house I'd go home!
Jason McClure: [walking into bedroom] Mommy!
Abby McClure: [hugging Jason] What is it, sweety?
Jason McClure: I can't find the bathroom!
Abby McClure: The only thing I've never gotten is why parents never run away.
Mitch McClure: [They're all gathered at a table in a Chinese restaurant] Boy, am I glad you two got married!
Abby McClure: You are?
Mitch McClure: Mm-hmm. Because with six, you get eggroll!
Truck Driver: Wait a minute, wait a minute... You mean to tell me that she is part of this family? This has got to be a plot against the chickens of America!
Cleo: [seductively] Want to help with my garden?
Jake Iverson: No, Cleo, I think it's real bad luck to go digging around in somebody else's garden.
Cleo: [approaches Jake getting out of his car] Oh, Jake... Well, howdy, neighbor.
Jake Iverson: [caught by surprise] Oh, Hi, Cleo...
Cleo: Sorry I haven't been over lately. I've been in Mexico - getting a divorce.
Cleo: [Cleo then notices Abby getting out of the car] Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were alone.
Jake Iverson: No, no, I'm not... Abby, this is Mrs. Ruskin. She's my... it's the neighbor - next door.
Jake Iverson: [to Cleo] This is Abby, my wife.
Cleo: Well, I just, uh, *happened* to be walking down the street...
Abby McClure: It's a nice night for streetwalking, yeah...
Cleo: She *is* your wife, isn't she?
Flip McClure: So my room isn't good enough for you, huh?
Stacey Iverson: Nothing about you is good enough for me. This house is so weird!
Flip McClure: You know what's wrong with you?
Stacey Iverson: What, "Mr." McClure?
Flip McClure: You're spoiled rotten, Miss Iverson.
Jason McClure: [the dogs are barking at each other] Mr. Iverson, you know what? Our dog hates your dog.
Jake Iverson: No, they're just talking when they bark like that. They'll get to like each other all right.
Jo Jo: [Offering Abby his bikers' help in finding Jake] Saddle up, friends, we shall give thou a hand. That is our bag - to help folks!
Jo Jo: [to the desk sergeant at the police station] Your Royal Fuzz, let our mother go!