George Segal: Nick
Nick : Who did the painting?
George : Some Greek with a mustache Martha attacked one night.
Nick : It's got a...
George : Quiet intensity?
Nick : Well, no, a...
George : Well then, a certain noisy relaxed quality maybe?
Nick : No, what I meant was...
George : How about a quietly noisy relaxed intensity?
George : Martha's got money because Martha's father's second wife, not Martha's mother but after Martha's mother died, was a very old lady with warts who was very rich.
Nick : She was a witch!
George : She was a good witch, and she married the white mouse with the tiny red eyes and he must have nibbled her warts or something like that, because she went up in a puff of smoke almost immediately. Poof!
Nick : Poof!
George : Poof! And all that was left, aside from some wart medicine, was a big fat will.
Nick : Your wife never mentioned a stepmother.
George : Maybe it isn't true.
Nick : I'm tired, I've been drinking since nine o'clock, my wife is vomiting, there's been a lot of screaming going on around here!
George : Now that's it! You can take over a few classes from the older men, but until you start plowing pertinent wives, you really aren't working. The broad, inviting avenue to man's job is through his wife, and don't you forget it.
Nick : And I'll bet your wife has the broadest, most inviting avenue of the whole damn campus.
Nick : Her father president and all.
Nick : [to Honey] We'll go in a little while.
George : Oh no. No, you mustn't. Martha is changing, and Martha is not changing for me, Martha hasn't changed for me in years. If Martha is changing, that means we're going to be here for days. You're being accorded an honor, and you mustn't forget that Martha is the daughter of our beloved boss. She is his right... arm. I was going to use another word, but we'll leave that sort of talk to Martha.