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Nothing But Trouble (1944) Poster

Quotes

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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: The last man I had stayed for several years. He'll tell you I was most accommodating. In fact, I still get letters from him. He's on an island somewhere in the Pacific. I think they call it Alcatraz.

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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: I thought a little spot of this might refresh you before taking up your new duties. It's Chateauneuf 1924.

Stan: Gee, that's pretty old. Haven't you got anything new?

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Oliver: Come Stanley, let no one say that we were afraid to die.

Stan: I don't care who says it.

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Oliver: I have the secret recipe for the famous Steak à la Oliver.

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Oliver: I don't think there's a job open in this whole country.

Stan: Say, why don't we try some other country?

Oliver: Stanley, I think you've got a good idea.

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French Restaurateur: [scolding in French] ... Un Bifteck à la Olivier! Allez!

Stan: What'd he say?

Oliver: You heard what he said.

Stan: I heard what he said but I didn't hear what he meant.

Oliver: He simply said that he accepts our resignation.

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Oliver: Yonder she lies, Stanley. The good old USA!

Stan: Gee, I'm glad to be back.

Ocean Liner Passenger: I'll bet you are. What did the Japs do when they took you prisoner?

Oliver: It was most humiliating. They forced us to prepare dinner. My masterpiece: Steak à la Oliver.

Ocean Liner Passenger: Gee, that was tough.

Oliver: Tough? My masterpiece? I beg your pardon!

Stan: After they finished eating it, they told us to please go on home.

Oliver: Yes, it seems that they preferred some dish of their own. I think they called it: Hara-Kiri.

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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: I do hope you'll feel thoroughly rested after this little snort eh, snack.

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King Christopher: That makes it okay by me!

Prince Saul: You majesty, how American!

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Prince Saul: Your majesty truly has great feeling for the common people.

King Christopher: God must have loved the common people; because, he made so many of them.

Prince Saul: An interesting; but, unsettling doctrine.

King Christopher: Oh, it's not my doctrine. It's Abraham Lincoln's.

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Mr. Hawkley: The King is dead. Long live the King.

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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: Don't forget the caviar. I usually keep a large supply on hand; but, that would be hoarding. I don't believe in hoarding. Do you, Oliver? Neither does Stanley, does he? And, Oliver, I want you to get me the biggest, finest sirloin steak you can find! Here. Here are the ration points I've been hoarding. I mean, I've been saving them, for weeks. They're the red points, you see. Pretty, aren't they?

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Boy's Football Team Captain: Get away, pantywaist! This gang'd bust ya in half.

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Boy's Football Team Captain: It'll give us three minutes more to try for a touchdown, won't it? If we don't let him play, we're licked right now.

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Boy's Football Team Captain: Let's fool 'em. We'll give the ball to pantywaist, here, off left tackle. You think you could do it, kid?

King Christopher: You bet!

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King Christopher: You're awfully kind.

Oliver: Well, we just like to see kids have fun.

Stan: Yeah, we think kids are nice.

King Christopher: And I think you're swell!

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Oliver: Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into. I've got to fix a steak dinner and I haven't got any meat!

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Oliver: Stanley, we've got to uphold the rights of human beings. That beautiful sirloin steak is enough for at least four people.

Stan: And he's hoarding it.

Oliver: Mrs. Hawkley needs it more than that lion. We'll do it!

Stan: You're right, Ollie. Ladies first, I always say.

Oliver: Stanley, get the meat.

Stan: You mean - me get the meat?

Oliver: Of course! Reach in and take it! Well, there's nothing to it. All you have to do is look the lion straight in the eye. Lions are afraid of that. I - I read that in a book.

Stan: But, did the lion read the book?

Oliver: No. Don't annoy me with trifles. Hurry!

Stan: Are you sure he'll be frightened?

Oliver: One look at you and he'll be terrified! - - - Did you look him in the eye?

Stan: Yeah, but, something must have gone wrong. I got frightened.

Oliver: Oh, I can't depend upon you to do anything!

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Oliver: I have it! I'll decoy him away from the meat, you grab it. I'll pretend that I'm another lion.

[Ollie roars]

Stan: It's working! Pretend you're a lady lion.

[Ollie gives a high-pitched roar]

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Oliver: Now, I've got to think of another idea.

Stan: What are you going to do now?

Oliver: I'm going to tickle him. That'll attract him away from the steak. Then, you snatch it.

Stan: Suppose he's not ticklish?

Oliver: All lion's are ticklish! Gootchi-gootchi-gootchi-gootchi!

Stan: Why don't you try and find his funny bone?

Oliver: Gootchi-gootchi-gootchi! Gootchi! Gootchi-gootchi! See, he's laughing! Gootchi-gootchi-gootchi-gootchi-goo!

Stan: Don't look like a laugh to me.

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Oliver: I can't understand why my Mock Turtle Soup à la Hardy isn't done yet?

Stan: Well, you know how slow those turtles are.

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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: I'm sure that you'll see that everything is served nicely. Won't you?

Oliver: You can trust me, Madame. Everything will go like greasy lightening.

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Oliver: Stanley, at times you are most trying.

Stan: Well, you can't blame me for trying.

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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: Oliver, you better saw the stea- I mean, carve the steak, in the kitchen.

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Stan: [after answering the door] There's a guy by the name of Mr. Ronetz. He wants to talk to a Mr. Highness.

Prince Saul: Oh, that's my Secretary. Would you pardon me a moment?

Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: Oh, certainly.

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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: How did this - this ragamuffin get in here?

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King Christopher: You know, Mr. Stanley, Mr. Oliver, this has been the happiest day of my life!

Oliver: Look, Chris, you don't have to say Mr. to us.

Stan: Of course not. Just call us Stan and Ollie.

Oliver: After all, we're pals.

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Stan: Chris, you ain't a King?

King Christopher: I - I should have told you.

Oliver: Your Majesty.

[bows]

Stan: Your Majesty.

[curtsies]

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Prince Saul: His Majesty will be pleased to grant you an audience at a later time.

Stan: Oh, sure, Chris.

Oliver: Thank you, your Majesty.

Stan: Mr. King, Chris.

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Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: There you are, Stanley. Oh, you pixie, you. After all this - excitement, I'm sure you'll be glad to come back and work at our little house, won't you?

Stan: No, ma'am.

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