Topper (1937) Poster


Roland Young: Mr. Cosmo Topper



  • Cosmo Topper : My wife objects to drinking.

    George Kerby : Then she shouldn't drink.

    Cosmo Topper : She doesn't.

    George Kerby : What's her objection?

  • Hotel Manager : Perhaps you can explain the red on this cigarette.

    Cosmo Topper : Yes, I... cut my tongue when I was shaving this morning.

  • [Topper reading annual report of his bank] 

    Cosmo Topper : Bullion abroad and in transit, thirteen million, two hundred and two thousand, eight hundred and fifty-four dollars and no cents.

    George Kerby : No sense.

    Cosmo Topper : I just said that, Mr. Kerby.

    George Kerby : So did I.

  • Cosmo Topper : So I'm a ditherer? Well, I'm jolly well going to dither, then!

  • Marion Kerby : Let's go have some dinner.

    Cosmo Topper : Oh no, we cannot eat on an empty stomach!

    Marion Kerby : Then we better have a few drinks first!

  • Cosmo Topper : Good morning, Clara.

    Mrs. Topper : Good morning, dear. You're late.

    Cosmo Topper : Oh... better late than never. Only 44 seconds, anyhow.

  • Marion Kerby : Why don't you stop being a mummy for a few minutes and come to life? Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a mummy if you had any fun getting that way.

    Cosmo Topper : But I... I didn't, you see.

    Marion Kerby : No, I can tell that by the way you're staring at my knees.

  • Cosmo Topper : [to two bewildered onlookers, who've been watching him talk to an invisible Marion]  Well, is it *my* fault there's no one here?

  • Cosmo Topper : [drunk]  Well, that's how I dance. How do you like it?

    George Kerby : [smiles and nods politely]  Yes, I thought that was pretty - bad.

  • [George and Marion watch a drunk Topper laying on the floor, passed out] 

    Marion Kerby : I don't think he's ever had a drink in his life.

    George Kerby : Poor Topper.

    Marion Kerby : Poor Topper.

    Cosmo Topper : [mutters]  Poor Topper.

    George Kerby : You keep out of this.

  • Cosmo Topper : Can't you even *look* like a human being?

    Wilkins : I don't know, sir, I've never tried.

  • Cosmo Topper : Clara, we used to play together once, and we could again. We could drive up to Lake Placid, just you and I. Stop at a roadhouse, dinner, and dance.

    Mrs. Topper : Drive in that? You're asking me to drive in a car that looks like a painted Jezebel. And drive it to a roadhouse? Why, it'd be like going to the opera in my night gown!

  • Cosmo Topper : [to George, referring to his wife]  Yes, I'v never - never beaten her.


    Cosmo Topper : Not... yet, I haven't.

    [pauses, then nods to liquor on the table] 

    Cosmo Topper : Open the other bottle.

  • Cosmo Topper : Having a little chair trouble, but, don't pay any attention to it.

  • Cosmo Topper : [speaking to George Kerby about Marian Kerby]  Use your influence. If you haven't any, beat her.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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