Free and Easy (1930)
Elmer Butts: ...I had one too many vanillas, and I kissed her on the back porch!
Elmer Butts: Oh woe is me, the queen has swooned, after you.
Fred Niblo: The queen didn't swoon after me!
Elmer Butts: She swoon after me?
Fred Niblo: She didn't swoon after anybody!
Elmer Butts: Then why all the excitement?
Ma: You can make a fool of yourself, if you want. But, you can't make a fool of us, you sap!
Ma: Oh, it's you, is it! I always did say a bad penny has no sense!
Ma: From now on we're going to manage ourselves, Mr. Butts! Oh, I've never been so humiliated in my life. I'm ashamed to show my face.
Elmer Butts: I don't blame ya.
Elmer Butts: I was all flustered up there tonight when that feller insisted that I was William Haines. Gee, I felt bad!
Ma: You felt bad? Imagine how William Haines felt!
Fred Niblo: All right, places everybody. Come on, on your toes. Smart it up!
Larry: Mr. Niblo, this is the little lady I was speaking to you about.
Fred Niblo: Oh, this is the little country flower. Oh, that's charming. Very charming, in deed. Won't you stand up, my dear, let me look at you. - - Oh, very nice! Very nice, in deed, Miss...
Fred Niblo: Miss Plunkett.
Elvira: And, eh, this is my mother, Mr. Niblo.
Fred Niblo: Oh, how do you do, Mrs...
Ma: Plunkett too.
Fred Niblo: Oh, two Plunketts. Charming.
Joseph Farnham: Mr. DeMille, have you come to any decision yet about whose gonna play the lead in your new picture?
Director Cecil B. DeMille: Well, Joe, I've been giving that a good deal of thought. I thought about Garbo quite a bit. But, I think they've got her tied up in something else.
Studio Exec: Say, you know, I saw Norma Shearer.
Director Cecil B. DeMille: Oh, yes. She's a charming actress.
Studio Exec: Oh, yes she is.
Director Cecil B. DeMille: Charming little actress. Did you know if she sings though?
Joseph Farnham: Have you thought of Marion Davies for it? I think she'd be good.
Director Cecil B. DeMille: Yes. But, she's got a starring vehicle already underway.
Joseph Farnham: Oh, yes.
Studio Exec: Say, if you want someone that dances, Joan Crawford is the most beautiful dancer.
Director Cecil B. DeMille: Yes, charming. Joan is charming.
Lionel Barrymore - Director of Bedroom Scene: Where in the heck did you come from?
Elmer Butts: Gopher City, Kansas.
Fred Niblo: Give it a certain romantic dash, you understand? So that we get the feeling of this romance. Because the idea of this scene is only to establish the aristocratic, the noble blood that is flowing in your veins. You see, because, she is a royal princess. It's really an allegorical retrospective, to establish the breeding of this girl. You understand?
Fred Niblo: Say, listen. You're going to read this speech right. Understand? Because its a simple speech. Any little four year old child could read this speech and you're going to do it! And you're going to do it with feeling! "Woe is me! The coon has - "
Elmer Butts: Squeened.
Fred Niblo: Listen! The queen has swooned. You understand. The queen has swooned! And nothing else! The queen has swooned - and nothing else!
Fred Niblo: All right. Get ready everybody. We're going to shoot this scene - before I shoot him.
Ma: As I've always said, you can't make a silk purse out of a horse's neck.
Larry: I was going to ask you to come up to my apartment. You see, the phonograph company has just sent me a record of my new song. And I wanted very much to have you hear it.
Elvira: Up to your apartment? Well, I don't know. Do you think it will be all right?
Larry: Oh, perfectly all right. Yes, of course. Come on. Come on, let's hurry.
Elmer Butts: [singing] All the boys, with high blood pressure/ All the girls, with too much flesh/ Your day has come at last/ Here's a dance, you poor wall flowers/ Once you try, you'll dance for hours/ I'll explain it fast/ Hot stuff is taboo/ Follow me and do/ The Free and Easy...
Chamber of Commerce Representative: [First lines] Friends, in behalf of the Chamber of Commerce and the good people of Gopher City, Kansas, I take this last opportunity to bid farewell and success to Miss Elvira Plunkett - the recent beauty winner and known as Miss Gopher City - and last, to Mrs. Plunkett, mother of Kansas' fairest flower.