Review of Dark House

Dark House (2009)
1/10
The Horror of Predictability
20 October 2012
Warning: Spoilers
By-the-numbers gory house movies usually steal from the best (13 Ghosts, House on Haunted Hill, etc.), then season with a little Rob Zombie. In this case, it's a tedious slog through a familiar laundry list of action. A bad script, poor direction and cheap effects only make the journey all the more boring.

Suspension-of-disbelief is impossible from the beginning. A young girl enters a spooky house and immediately stumbles on a bloody child's body. Rather than react like most people, and run in terror, she calmly continues on, discovering one horror after another. What finally shocks her isn't any gore, but an attempt at a startling, visual cliché.

The rest of the movie is the usual tepid broth of skeptics getting killed by supernatural forces, and threadbare "Quick! Run! But there's Now Way Out!" scenes. There's little to see here that hasn't been done many times before, except maybe in a porn parody.
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