IMDb Polls

Poll: What is Homer Simpson's Funniest Quote?

Homer Simpson is one of TV's most loveable characters and has featured in every episode of arguably the worlds most popular TV show; The Simpsons (1989). The show has lasted 27 seasons and one movie - The Simpsons Movie (2007) (so far) and this poll looks at some of Homer's funniest quotes across that time. Vote for the funniest one! Discuss Here

Make Your Choice

  1. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Operator! Give me the number for 911!"
  2. Vote!

    Christopher Reeve in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

    "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."
  3. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"
  4. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."
  5. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
  6. Vote!

    Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Dan Castellaneta, and Yeardley Smith in The Simpsons (1989)

    "The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!"
  7. Vote!

    Allakariallak in Nanook of the North (1922)

    "Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."
  8. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that."
  9. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."
  10. Vote!

    Nancy Cartwright and Dan Castellaneta in The Simpsons (1989)

    "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"
  11. Vote!

    Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, and Dan Castellaneta in The Simpsons (1989)

    "I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming."
  12. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless."
  13. Vote!

    Nancy Cartwright and Dan Castellaneta in The Simpsons (1989)

    "Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers."
  14. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy."
  15. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
  16. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!"
  17. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Homer no function beer well without."
  18. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Oh, so they have internet on computers now!"
  19. Vote!

    Ricky Gervais in The Simpsons (1989)

    "Why you little... I'll choke you good!"
  20. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"
  21. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

  22. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems."
  23. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "Shut-up Flanders!"
  24. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell?"
  25. Vote!

    Dan Castellaneta and Harry Shearer in The Simpsons (1989)

    "A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It's a tool. Like a butcher knife, or a harpoon, or... uh, a... an alligator. You just need more education on the subject. Tell you what. You come with me to an N.R.A. meeting, and if you still don't think guns are great, we can argue some more."
  26. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    "I am so smart. S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T"
  27. Vote!

    Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Dan Castellaneta, and Harry Shearer in The Simpsons Movie (2007)

    "Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. Can he swing from a web? No he *can't*, he's a pig. Look out! He is the Spider-Pig!"
  28. Vote!

    Rupert Murdoch in The Simpsons (1989)

    "He knows just how I like my martini--full of alcohol."
  29. Vote!

    Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Dan Castellaneta, and Yeardley Smith in The Simpsons Movie (2007)

    "So, we meet at last, whoever you are."
  30. Vote!

    Nancy Cartwright and Dan Castellaneta in The Simpsons Movie (2007)

    "I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!"
  31. Vote!

    Michael Jackson, Dan Castellaneta, and Kipp Lennon in The Simpsons (1989)

    "No beer and no TV make Homer... something something!

    Marge: "Go crazy?"

    "Don't mind if I do!!"

  32. Vote!

    The Simpsons (1989)

    [As Marge goes into labour] "Step aside. I'll deliver this baby "

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