Abysmal Movies - 2/10

by barbaricavatar | created - 16 Jan 2018 | updated - 2 days ago | Public

In no particular order.

See also: Worst of All Time - 1/10 Terrible Movies - 3/10 And: Bad but Good

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1. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011)

PG-13 | 117 min | Action, Adventure, Drama

45 Metascore

The Quileutes close in on expecting parents Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses a threat to the Wolf Pack and the towns people of Forks.

Director: Bill Condon | Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham

Votes: 212,078 | Gross: $281.29M

2. Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans (1991)

R | 85 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

It begins as a contest of strength the challenge of competition luring fighters from far away to a hilltop castle. Deathstalker leads the combatants but only to discover that the winners ... See full summary »

Director: Howard R. Cohen | Stars: Rick Hill, Maria Ford, Brett Baxter Clark, Michelle Moffett

Votes: 685

3. Starship: Rising (2014)

TV-14 | 91 min | Action, Sci-Fi

Starship One - the most powerful warship in the Federation, capable of destroying entire worlds. When the order is given to destroy the Earth, Flight Lieutenant John Worthy mutineers Starship One and takes on the might of the Federation.

Director: Neil Johnson | Stars: Darren Jacobs, Emii, Brooke Lewis Bellas, Claudia Wells

Votes: 807

4. Gallowwalkers (2012)

R | 90 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

A cursed gunman (Snipes) whose victims come back from the dead recruits a young warrior to help in the fight against a gang of zombies.

Director: Andrew Goth | Stars: Wesley Snipes, Kevin Howarth, Riley Smith, Tanit Phoenix Copley

Votes: 6,887

Tanit Phoenix's spectacular cleavage carries the whole movie.

5. The Fast and the Furious (2001)

PG-13 | 106 min | Action, Crime, Thriller

58 Metascore

Los Angeles police officer Brian O'Conner must decide where his loyalty really lies when he becomes enamored with the street racing world he has been sent undercover to destroy.

Director: Rob Cohen | Stars: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster

Votes: 327,636 | Gross: $144.53M

6. Beneath (V) (2013)

Unrated | 89 min | Adventure, Horror

34 Metascore

A crew of coal miners becomes trapped 600 feet below ground after a disastrous collapse. As the air grows more toxic and time runs out, they slowly descend into madness and begin to turn on one another.

Director: Ben Ketai | Stars: Brent Briscoe, Kurt Caceres, Eric Etebari, Jeff Fahey

Votes: 3,984

The message of this film appears to be: "Don't let a woman do anything with you; she'll freak out, expect special treatment, behave irrationally, screw everything up and then leave you for dead".

7. Tenement (1985)

X | 94 min | Action, Crime, Horror

A drug selling and violent street-gang terrorize the renters of a big trashy apartment-house.

Director: Roberta Findlay | Stars: Joe Lynn, Mina Bern, Walter Bryant, Corinne Chateau

Votes: 611

It's possible this film partially inspired "Batteries Not Included" but the reason you've heard of that and not of this is that there are no likeable characters here and the enemies are pathetic druggies.

8. Dragon Fury (1995)

Not Rated | 79 min | Action, Sci-Fi

Mason, a dragon warrior from the future, returns to the year 1999 in search of a serum that can combat a disease simply known as "The Plague." In the post-apocalyptic world of 2099 -- after... See full summary »

Director: David Heavener | Stars: Richard Lynch, Robert Chapin, Chona Jason, Deborah Stambler

Votes: 150

Mullets, dudes trying to 'look cool' in every shot and the soft lens made-for-TV look. Ugh.

9. Lauderdale (1989)

R | 91 min | Comedy

"Porky" style teen comedy with plenty of gross out jokes and nudity. A nerd and his out-of-control friend chase a dream girl to a beach on Florida where all the expected carrying on occurs.

Director: Bill Milling | Stars: Renee Shugart, Darrel Guilbeau, Jeff Greenman, Janine Lindemulder

Votes: 243

The worst kind of objectification. A movie made by immature boys for immature boys.

10. 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

PG-13 | 107 min | Action, Crime, Thriller

38 Metascore

Former cop Brian O'Conner is called upon to bust a dangerous criminal and he recruits the help of a former childhood friend and street racer who has a chance to redeem himself.

Director: John Singleton | Stars: Paul Walker, Tyrese Gibson, Cole Hauser, Eva Mendes

Votes: 237,129 | Gross: $127.15M

11. Transylvania Twist (1989)

PG | 90 min | Comedy, Fantasy

The nephew of a librarian must go collect a 200 year old book, "The Book of Ulthar." that should have never been checked out by the Evil Count Orlock cause one of the spells in it could ... See full summary »

Director: Jim Wynorski | Stars: Robert Vaughn, Teri Copley, Steve Altman, Ace Mask

Votes: 484

A feature-length cheesy sitcom. Awful.

12. Brain Donors (1992)

PG | 80 min | Comedy

44 Metascore

Three manic idiots; a lawyer, cab driver and a handyman team up to run a ballet company to fulfill the will of a millionaire. Tribute to the Marx Brothers, antics result as the trio try to ... See full summary »

Director: Dennis Dugan | Stars: John Turturro, Bob Nelson, Mel Smith, Nancy Marchand

Votes: 3,804 | Gross: $0.92M

Another one that goes for the sitcom + breaking the 4th wall style that shows a total lack of creativity.

13. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

R | 87 min | Comedy, Horror, Thriller

50 Metascore

A group of teenagers get into a car crash in the Texas woods on prom night, and then wander into an old farmhouse that is home to Leatherface and his insane family of cannibalistic psychopaths.

Director: Kim Henkel | Stars: Renée Zellweger, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Jacks, Tonie Perensky

Votes: 18,630 | Gross: $0.14M

A role i'm sure Matthew McConaughey would rather forget.

14. Phantasm (1979)

R | 88 min | Horror, Sci-Fi

72 Metascore

A teenage boy and his friends face off against a mysterious grave robber known only as the Tall Man, who keeps a lethal arsenal of terrible weapons with him.

Director: Don Coscarelli | Stars: A. Michael Baldwin, Bill Thornbury, Reggie Bannister, Kathy Lester

Votes: 29,401 | Gross: $11.99M

There's nothing in this movie that warrants a sequel, let alone four!

15. Phantasm: Ravager (2016)

Not Rated | 85 min | Action, Fantasy, Horror

48 Metascore

The final installment of the long-running Phantasm series.

Director: David Hartman | Stars: A. Michael Baldwin, Reggie Bannister, Dawn Cody, Gloria Lynne Henry

Votes: 3,138

5th movie in what is surely one of the most consistantly awful franchises of all time

16. Wizards (1977)

PG | 80 min | Animation, Adventure, Fantasy

On a post-apocalyptic Earth, a wizard and his faire folk comrades fight an evil wizard who's using technology in his bid for conquest.

Director: Ralph Bakshi | Stars: Bob Holt, Jesse Welles, Richard Romanus, David Proval

Votes: 9,532 | Gross: $9.00M

Not really sure who this is aimed at. There's mild swearing, references to drug use, politics and silliness. There are intricate backgrounds with simplistic animated characters. Also innuendo, nipple bulges, slapstick and daft one-liner's. It's too mature for kids and too stupid for adults and is littered with terrible voice acting: A failure in every regard.

17. 2001: A Space Travesty (2000)

R | 99 min | Comedy, Sci-Fi

Marshal Dix is to free US president from aliens on the int'l lunar base. A clone has replaced him in The White House. Can Dix prevent an alien invasion?

Director: Allan A. Goldstein | Stars: Leslie Nielsen, Ophélie Winter, Ezio Greggio, Peter Egan

Votes: 11,047

I laughed precisely once.

18. Repossessed (1990)

PG-13 | 80 min | Comedy, Fantasy, Horror

Parody of The Exorcist (1973), with Linda Blair once again possessed by Satan, and Leslie Nielsen as the exorcist.

Director: Bob Logan | Stars: Leslie Nielsen, Linda Blair, Ned Beatty, Anthony Starke

Votes: 7,659 | Gross: $1.38M

I'm beginning to understand that Leslie Nielson appeared in a lot of comedies that weren't funny!

19. 2010: Moby Dick (2010 Video)

Not Rated | 87 min | Action, Adventure, Thriller

A modern adaptation of the classic novel of the captain of a high tech submarine and his obsessive quest to destroy the enormousprehistoric whale that maimed him.

Director: Trey Stokes | Stars: Barry Bostwick, Renée O'Connor, Matt Lagan, Adam Grimes

Votes: 2,516

20. The Wicksboro Incident (2003 Video)

71 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

In 1953 the entire population of Wicksboro, Texas vanishes. Forty five years later a witness comes out of hiding to tell the story.

Director: Richard Lowry | Stars: Bobby Harwell, Dan Brinkle, Kyle Nudo, David A. Arnold

Votes: 536

Do American cars not have full beam headlamps or are the characters in this movie just morons?

21. Dragon Wasps (2012 TV Movie)

PG | 80 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

A scientist enlists the help of the US army to investigate the mysterious disappearance of her father, deep in the Belizean jungle. Caught in the crossfire between a brutal guerrilla army ... See full summary »

Director: Joe Knee | Stars: Corin Nemec, Dominika Juillet, Nikolette Noel, Benjamin Easterday

Votes: 894

22. The Ring Two (2005)

PG-13 | 110 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller

44 Metascore

6 months after the incidents involving the lethal videotape, new clues prove that there is a new evil lurking in the darkness.

Director: Hideo Nakata | Stars: Naomi Watts, David Dorfman, Sissy Spacek, Simon Baker

Votes: 87,691 | Gross: $76.23M

23. Deathstalker II (1987)

R | 85 min | Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy

Deathstalker helps Reena the Seer out of a few jams, and she solicits his help for a bigger task. She reveals that she is actually Princess Evie, but the evil sorcerer had her abducted and ... See full summary »

Director: Jim Wynorski | Stars: John Terlesky, Monique Gabrielle, John Lazar, Toni Naples

Votes: 1,971

Who likes High School quality acting?

24. Easy Rider (1969)

R | 95 min | Adventure, Drama

86 Metascore

Through the open country and desert lands, two bikers head from L.A to New Orleans, and along the way, meet a man who bridges a counter-culture gap they are unaware of.

Director: Dennis Hopper | Stars: Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, Jack Nicholson, Antonio Mendoza

Votes: 92,622 | Gross: $41.73M

Plotless, aimless and scriptless. A landmark only in how to not make an engaging movie.

25. One, Two, Many (2008)

R | 88 min | Comedy, Romance

A modern-day romance that follows one man's quest to find the girl of his dreams. A girl who can agree that three is company.

Director: Michael DeLorenzo | Stars: John Melendez, Bellamy Young, Jeffrey Ross, Hudson Leick

Votes: 796

A total douchebag searches for a woman he doesn't deserve. Are we supposed to sympathise with him? I didn't.

26. Found (III) (2012)

Unrated | 103 min | Drama, Horror, Thriller

41 Metascore

A horror-obsessed boy discovers his older brother is a serial killer.

Director: Scott Schirmer | Stars: Gavin Brown, Ethan Philbeck, Phyllis Munro, Louie Lawless

Votes: 3,490

Sick. And not in a good way.

27. Zoolander 2 (2016)

PG-13 | 101 min | Action, Comedy

34 Metascore

Derek and Hansel are lured into modelling again, in Rome, where they find themselves the target of a sinister conspiracy.

Director: Ben Stiller | Stars: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Penélope Cruz, Will Ferrell

Votes: 61,177 | Gross: $28.85M

28. Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991)

PG-13 | 107 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

Dar is a warrior who can talk to the beasts. He is forced to travel to Earth to stop his evil brother from stealing an atomic bomb and turning their native land from a desert into, well - a desert.

Director: Sylvio Tabet | Stars: Marc Singer, Kari Wuhrer, Sarah Douglas, Wings Hauser

Votes: 2,751 | Gross: $0.87M

Only the 3rd Beastmaster is worth a watch

29. Battlefield Earth (2000)

PG-13 | 118 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

9 Metascore

It's the year 3000 A.D.; the Earth is lost to the alien race of Psychlos. Humanity is enslaved by these gold-thirsty tyrants, whom are unaware that their 'man-animals' are about to ignite the rebellion of a lifetime.

Director: Roger Christian | Stars: John Travolta, Forest Whitaker, Barry Pepper, Kim Coates

Votes: 73,635 | Gross: $21.47M

30. 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012 Video)

R | 88 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

Survivors escape to a deserted atoll, after their boat during a Semester at Sea ship is sunk by a mutated two-headed shark. But when the atoll starts flooding, no one is safe from the double jaws of the monster.

Director: Christopher Ray | Stars: Carmen Electra, Charlie O'Connell, Brooke Hogan, Christina Bach

Votes: 6,229

31. Zombie Nightmare (1987)

R | 89 min | Fantasy, Horror

After a young man is killed by a gang of rampant teenagers, he is resurrected by a voodoo priestess so he can avenge his death.

Director: Jack Bravman | Stars: Adam West, Jon Mikl Thor, Tia Carrere, Manuska Rigaud

Votes: 2,914

32. Critters 2 (1988)

PG-13 | 86 min | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi

48 Metascore

Eggs of the small, furry alien carnivores are left behind on Earth and, after hatching, again set their appetites on the town of Grover's Bend.

Director: Mick Garris | Stars: Scott Grimes, Liane Curtis, Terrence Mann, Don Keith Opper

Votes: 12,987 | Gross: $3.81M

33. Alone in the Dark (2005)

R | 96 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

9 Metascore

A detective of the paranormal slowly unravels mysterious events with deadly results.

Director: Uwe Boll | Stars: Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff, Frank C. Turner

Votes: 40,768 | Gross: $5.18M

34. Catwoman (2004)

PG-13 | 104 min | Action, Crime, Fantasy

27 Metascore

A shy woman, endowed with the speed, reflexes, and senses of a cat, walks a thin line between criminal and hero, even as a detective doggedly pursues her, fascinated by both of her personas.

Director: Pitof | Stars: Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Benjamin Bratt, Lambert Wilson

Votes: 104,764 | Gross: $40.20M

35. The Predator (2018)

R | 107 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

48 Metascore

When a young boy accidentally triggers the universe's most lethal hunters' return to Earth, only a ragtag crew of ex-soldiers and a disgruntled scientist can prevent the end of the human race.

Director: Shane Black | Stars: Boyd Holbrook, Trevante Rhodes, Jacob Tremblay, Keegan-Michael Key

Votes: 103,996 | Gross: $51.02M

36. The Hungover Games (2014)

R | 85 min | Comedy

A spoof on The Hangover (2009), The Hunger Games (2012) and other movies, TV series etc. 4 men, with hangovers after a bachelor party, find themselves in a future, dystopian, kill or be killed game.

Director: Josh Stolberg | Stars: Ross Nathan, Sam Pancake, Ben Begley, Herbert Russell

Votes: 10,069

37. Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001 Video)

PG | 104 min | Action, Comedy, Horror

The now famous Burt Gummer returns to his hometown of Perfection, Nevada for the first time in years, but the deadliest Graboid evolution yet forces him to save the town he swore to protect.

Director: Brent Maddock | Stars: Michael Gross, Shawn Christian, Susan Chuang, Charlotte Stewart

Votes: 14,978

38. Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

PG-13 | 107 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

14 Metascore

Profion, a tyrant, attempts to overthrow a peaceful kingdom ruled by a tough empress.

Director: Courtney Solomon | Stars: Justin Whalin, Jeremy Irons, Zoe McLellan, Bruce Payne

Votes: 30,873 | Gross: $15.22M

39. Grave Encounters 2 (2012)

Not Rated | 95 min | Horror

A film student who is obsessed with the movie Grave Encounters sets out with his friends to visit the psychiatric hospital depicted in the original film.

Director: John Poliquin | Stars: Richard Harmon, Shawn C. Phillips, Jennica Fulton, Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman

Votes: 21,430

40. Jersey Shore Massacre (2014)

R | 88 min | Comedy, Horror

12 Metascore

A typical weekend down the shore takes a bizarre turn as six girls and five obnoxious fist-pumpers become the unsuspecting targets of a deranged killer.

Director: Paul Tarnopol | Stars: Danielle Dallacco, Angelica Boccella, Giovanni Roselli, Chris Lazzaro

Votes: 1,097

41. Mercenaries (2014)

Unrated | 89 min | Action, Adventure

The President's daughter is captured and imprisoned while touring a war zone, so a team of elite female commandos is assembled to infiltrate a women's prison for a daring rescue.

Director: Christopher Ray | Stars: Zoë Bell, Kristanna Loken, Vivica A. Fox, Brigitte Nielsen

Votes: 2,160

42. Star Runners (2009 TV Movie)

80 min | Action, Adventure, Horror

Given a undercover government mission to retrieve a "crate" from a distant planet, TY JOHNS and LEI CHEN find that they must smuggle not a crate, but a woman off world -- and when their ... See full summary »

Director: Mat King | Stars: Connor Trinneer, James Kyson, Toni Trucks, Aja Evans

Votes: 986

43. Vice Academy Part 3 (1991)

R | 88 min | Comedy, Crime

Two sisters in the Vice Academy try to thwart the crime wave wrought by escaped convict Malathion, who got her name after being exposed to toxic chemicals. An honest new recruit does such a... See full summary »

Director: Rick Sloane | Stars: Ginger Lynn, Elizabeth Kaitan, Julia Parton, John Henry Richardson

Votes: 204

44. Lady Terminator (1989)

R | 82 min | Action, Horror

The spirit of an ancient evil queen posesses the body of a young anthropological student, who then goes on a murderous rampage.

Director: H. Tjut Djalil | Stars: Barbara Anne Constable, Christopher J. Hart, Claudia Angelique Rademaker, Joseph P. McGlynn

Votes: 1,343

45. Bikini Party Massacre (2002)

78 min | Horror

6 teenagers go traveling in the woods, to have a crazy private party. They don't know they are followed by a psychopath. Slowly the party is turning in to a blood bath, when the killer slaughters them all one by one.

Director: Joseph D. Clark | Stars: Joseph D. Clark, Rockford Varcoe, Peter Mehren, Kesta Graham

Votes: 203

46. Bunni (2013)

60 min | Horror

Following a Halloween party, an attractive girl and her friends must fight to escape the nightmarish dwelling of a twisted killer with a dark secret.

Director: Daniel Benedict | Stars: Sara Ammons, Daniel Benedict, Johnny Bilson, Eli Blue

Votes: 158

47. Cannonball Fever (1989)

PG | 94 min | Comedy, Action

Despite the police's preemptive strike, the illegal coast-to-coast car race is still on with new drivers. It's a race where fair play, red lights, stop signs, police roadblocks and traffic rules in general have no validity.

Director: Jim Drake | Stars: Peter Boyle, Donna Dixon, John Candy, Matt Frewer

Votes: 2,903 | Gross: $3.08M

AKA: Speed Zone

48. Bikini Drive-In (1995)

R | 86 min | Comedy

Kim Taylor inherits her grandfather's drive-in theatre. She must raise $25,000 over one weekend or the bank will take the property from her. She also has to deal with pesky capitalist J.B. Winston.

Directors: Fred Olen Ray, Steve Latshaw | Stars: Ashlie Rhey, Richard Gabai, Ross Hagen, Peter Spellos

Votes: 715

49. Aliens Gone Wild (2007 TV Movie)

Not Rated |