Abysmal Movies - 2/10by barbaricavatar | created - 16 Jan 2018 | updated - 2 days ago | Public
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PG-13 | 117 min | Action, Adventure, Drama
The Quileutes close in on expecting parents Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses a threat to the Wolf Pack and the towns people of Forks.
Votes: 212,078 | Gross: $281.29M
2. Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans (1991)
R | 85 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
It begins as a contest of strength the challenge of competition luring fighters from far away to a hilltop castle. Deathstalker leads the combatants but only to discover that the winners ... See full summary »
3. Starship: Rising (2014)
TV-14 | 91 min | Action, Sci-Fi
Starship One - the most powerful warship in the Federation, capable of destroying entire worlds. When the order is given to destroy the Earth, Flight Lieutenant John Worthy mutineers Starship One and takes on the might of the Federation.
4. Gallowwalkers (2012)
R | 90 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
A cursed gunman (Snipes) whose victims come back from the dead recruits a young warrior to help in the fight against a gang of zombies.
Tanit Phoenix's spectacular cleavage carries the whole movie.
5. The Fast and the Furious (2001)
PG-13 | 106 min | Action, Crime, Thriller
Los Angeles police officer Brian O'Conner must decide where his loyalty really lies when he becomes enamored with the street racing world he has been sent undercover to destroy.
Votes: 327,636 | Gross: $144.53M
6. Beneath (V) (2013)
Unrated | 89 min | Adventure, Horror
A crew of coal miners becomes trapped 600 feet below ground after a disastrous collapse. As the air grows more toxic and time runs out, they slowly descend into madness and begin to turn on one another.
The message of this film appears to be: "Don't let a woman do anything with you; she'll freak out, expect special treatment, behave irrationally, screw everything up and then leave you for dead".
7. Tenement (1985)
X | 94 min | Action, Crime, Horror
A drug selling and violent street-gang terrorize the renters of a big trashy apartment-house.
It's possible this film partially inspired "Batteries Not Included" but the reason you've heard of that and not of this is that there are no likeable characters here and the enemies are pathetic druggies.
8. Dragon Fury (1995)
Not Rated | 79 min | Action, Sci-Fi
Mason, a dragon warrior from the future, returns to the year 1999 in search of a serum that can combat a disease simply known as "The Plague." In the post-apocalyptic world of 2099 -- after... See full summary »
Mullets, dudes trying to 'look cool' in every shot and the soft lens made-for-TV look. Ugh.
9. Lauderdale (1989)
R | 91 min | Comedy
"Porky" style teen comedy with plenty of gross out jokes and nudity. A nerd and his out-of-control friend chase a dream girl to a beach on Florida where all the expected carrying on occurs.
The worst kind of objectification. A movie made by immature boys for immature boys.
10. 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
PG-13 | 107 min | Action, Crime, Thriller
Former cop Brian O'Conner is called upon to bust a dangerous criminal and he recruits the help of a former childhood friend and street racer who has a chance to redeem himself.
Votes: 237,129 | Gross: $127.15M
11. Transylvania Twist (1989)
PG | 90 min | Comedy, Fantasy
The nephew of a librarian must go collect a 200 year old book, "The Book of Ulthar." that should have never been checked out by the Evil Count Orlock cause one of the spells in it could ... See full summary »
A feature-length cheesy sitcom. Awful.
12. Brain Donors (1992)
PG | 80 min | Comedy
Three manic idiots; a lawyer, cab driver and a handyman team up to run a ballet company to fulfill the will of a millionaire. Tribute to the Marx Brothers, antics result as the trio try to ... See full summary »
Votes: 3,804 | Gross: $0.92M
Another one that goes for the sitcom + breaking the 4th wall style that shows a total lack of creativity.
13. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)
R | 87 min | Comedy, Horror, Thriller
A group of teenagers get into a car crash in the Texas woods on prom night, and then wander into an old farmhouse that is home to Leatherface and his insane family of cannibalistic psychopaths.
Votes: 18,630 | Gross: $0.14M
A role i'm sure Matthew McConaughey would rather forget.
14. Phantasm (1979)
R | 88 min | Horror, Sci-Fi
A teenage boy and his friends face off against a mysterious grave robber known only as the Tall Man, who keeps a lethal arsenal of terrible weapons with him.
Votes: 29,401 | Gross: $11.99M
There's nothing in this movie that warrants a sequel, let alone four!
15. Phantasm: Ravager (2016)
Not Rated | 85 min | Action, Fantasy, Horror
The final installment of the long-running Phantasm series.
5th movie in what is surely one of the most consistantly awful franchises of all time
16. Wizards (1977)
PG | 80 min | Animation, Adventure, Fantasy
On a post-apocalyptic Earth, a wizard and his faire folk comrades fight an evil wizard who's using technology in his bid for conquest.
Votes: 9,532 | Gross: $9.00M
Not really sure who this is aimed at. There's mild swearing, references to drug use, politics and silliness. There are intricate backgrounds with simplistic animated characters. Also innuendo, nipple bulges, slapstick and daft one-liner's. It's too mature for kids and too stupid for adults and is littered with terrible voice acting: A failure in every regard.
17. 2001: A Space Travesty (2000)
R | 99 min | Comedy, Sci-Fi
Marshal Dix is to free US president from aliens on the int'l lunar base. A clone has replaced him in The White House. Can Dix prevent an alien invasion?
I laughed precisely once.
18. Repossessed (1990)
PG-13 | 80 min | Comedy, Fantasy, Horror
Parody of The Exorcist (1973), with Linda Blair once again possessed by Satan, and Leslie Nielsen as the exorcist.
Votes: 7,659 | Gross: $1.38M
I'm beginning to understand that Leslie Nielson appeared in a lot of comedies that weren't funny!
19. 2010: Moby Dick (2010 Video)
Not Rated | 87 min | Action, Adventure, Thriller
A modern adaptation of the classic novel of the captain of a high tech submarine and his obsessive quest to destroy the enormousprehistoric whale that maimed him.
20. The Wicksboro Incident (2003 Video)
71 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
In 1953 the entire population of Wicksboro, Texas vanishes. Forty five years later a witness comes out of hiding to tell the story.
Do American cars not have full beam headlamps or are the characters in this movie just morons?
21. Dragon Wasps (2012 TV Movie)
PG | 80 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy
A scientist enlists the help of the US army to investigate the mysterious disappearance of her father, deep in the Belizean jungle. Caught in the crossfire between a brutal guerrilla army ... See full summary »
22. The Ring Two (2005)
PG-13 | 110 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
6 months after the incidents involving the lethal videotape, new clues prove that there is a new evil lurking in the darkness.
Votes: 87,691 | Gross: $76.23M
23. Deathstalker II (1987)
R | 85 min | Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy
Deathstalker helps Reena the Seer out of a few jams, and she solicits his help for a bigger task. She reveals that she is actually Princess Evie, but the evil sorcerer had her abducted and ... See full summary »
Who likes High School quality acting?
24. Easy Rider (1969)
R | 95 min | Adventure, Drama
Through the open country and desert lands, two bikers head from L.A to New Orleans, and along the way, meet a man who bridges a counter-culture gap they are unaware of.
Votes: 92,622 | Gross: $41.73M
Plotless, aimless and scriptless. A landmark only in how to not make an engaging movie.
25. One, Two, Many (2008)
R | 88 min | Comedy, Romance
A modern-day romance that follows one man's quest to find the girl of his dreams. A girl who can agree that three is company.
A total douchebag searches for a woman he doesn't deserve. Are we supposed to sympathise with him? I didn't.
26. Found (III) (2012)
Unrated | 103 min | Drama, Horror, Thriller
A horror-obsessed boy discovers his older brother is a serial killer.
Sick. And not in a good way.
28. Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991)
PG-13 | 107 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Dar is a warrior who can talk to the beasts. He is forced to travel to Earth to stop his evil brother from stealing an atomic bomb and turning their native land from a desert into, well - a desert.
Votes: 2,751 | Gross: $0.87M
Only the 3rd Beastmaster is worth a watch
29. Battlefield Earth (2000)
PG-13 | 118 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
It's the year 3000 A.D.; the Earth is lost to the alien race of Psychlos. Humanity is enslaved by these gold-thirsty tyrants, whom are unaware that their 'man-animals' are about to ignite the rebellion of a lifetime.
Votes: 73,635 | Gross: $21.47M
30. 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012 Video)
R | 88 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy
Survivors escape to a deserted atoll, after their boat during a Semester at Sea ship is sunk by a mutated two-headed shark. But when the atoll starts flooding, no one is safe from the double jaws of the monster.
32. Critters 2 (1988)
PG-13 | 86 min | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi
Eggs of the small, furry alien carnivores are left behind on Earth and, after hatching, again set their appetites on the town of Grover's Bend.
Votes: 12,987 | Gross: $3.81M
34. Catwoman (2004)
PG-13 | 104 min | Action, Crime, Fantasy
A shy woman, endowed with the speed, reflexes, and senses of a cat, walks a thin line between criminal and hero, even as a detective doggedly pursues her, fascinated by both of her personas.
Votes: 104,764 | Gross: $40.20M
35. The Predator (2018)
R | 107 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
When a young boy accidentally triggers the universe's most lethal hunters' return to Earth, only a ragtag crew of ex-soldiers and a disgruntled scientist can prevent the end of the human race.
Votes: 103,996 | Gross: $51.02M
36. The Hungover Games (2014)
R | 85 min | Comedy
37. Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001 Video)
PG | 104 min | Action, Comedy, Horror
The now famous Burt Gummer returns to his hometown of Perfection, Nevada for the first time in years, but the deadliest Graboid evolution yet forces him to save the town he swore to protect.
39. Grave Encounters 2 (2012)
Not Rated | 95 min | Horror
A film student who is obsessed with the movie Grave Encounters sets out with his friends to visit the psychiatric hospital depicted in the original film.
40. Jersey Shore Massacre (2014)
R | 88 min | Comedy, Horror
A typical weekend down the shore takes a bizarre turn as six girls and five obnoxious fist-pumpers become the unsuspecting targets of a deranged killer.
41. Mercenaries (2014)
Unrated | 89 min | Action, Adventure
The President's daughter is captured and imprisoned while touring a war zone, so a team of elite female commandos is assembled to infiltrate a women's prison for a daring rescue.
42. Star Runners (2009 TV Movie)
80 min | Action, Adventure, Horror
Given a undercover government mission to retrieve a "crate" from a distant planet, TY JOHNS and LEI CHEN find that they must smuggle not a crate, but a woman off world -- and when their ... See full summary »
43. Vice Academy Part 3 (1991)
R | 88 min | Comedy, Crime
Two sisters in the Vice Academy try to thwart the crime wave wrought by escaped convict Malathion, who got her name after being exposed to toxic chemicals. An honest new recruit does such a... See full summary »
44. Lady Terminator (1989)
R | 82 min | Action, Horror
The spirit of an ancient evil queen posesses the body of a young anthropological student, who then goes on a murderous rampage.
45. Bikini Party Massacre (2002)
78 min | Horror
6 teenagers go traveling in the woods, to have a crazy private party. They don't know they are followed by a psychopath. Slowly the party is turning in to a blood bath, when the killer slaughters them all one by one.
47. Cannonball Fever (1989)
PG | 94 min | Comedy, Action
Despite the police's preemptive strike, the illegal coast-to-coast car race is still on with new drivers. It's a race where fair play, red lights, stop signs, police roadblocks and traffic rules in general have no validity.
Votes: 2,903 | Gross: $3.08M
AKA: Speed Zone
48. Bikini Drive-In (1995)
R | 86 min | Comedy
Kim Taylor inherits her grandfather's drive-in theatre. She must raise $25,000 over one weekend or the bank will take the property from her. She also has to deal with pesky capitalist J.B. Winston.
49. Aliens Gone Wild (2007 TV Movie)
Not Rated |