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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017)

PG | | Comedy, Family | 19 May 2017 (USA)
Trailer
2:27 | Trailer
A Heffley family road trip to attend Meemaw's 90th birthday party goes hilariously off course thanks to Greg's newest scheme to get to a video gaming convention.

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(screenplay), (screenplay) | 2 more credits »
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503 ( 290)

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Dylan Walters ...
Wyatt Walters ...
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Mac Digby
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Mr. Beardo (as Christopher A. Coppola)
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Brandi Beardo
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Luis
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Hog Man
Stephen 'Big Steve' Dupree ...
Tall Farmer
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Farmer Lady
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Butter Vendor
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Storyline

A Heffley family road trip to attend Meemaw's 90th birthday party goes hilariously off course thanks to Greg's newest scheme to get to a video gaming convention. This family cross-country adventure turns into an experience the Heffleys will never forget. Written by Twentieth Century Fox

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

A Wimp will rise

Genres:

Comedy | Family

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG for some rude humor | See all certifications »

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Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

19 May 2017 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Dagbok för alla mina fans: Det långa loppet  »

Filming Locations:


Box Office

Budget:

$22,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

$7,126,084 (USA) (19 May 2017)

Gross:

$20,324,651 (USA) (23 June 2017)
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Many fans of the franchise expressed a lot of anger at all the recasting for this film, especially when it came to Rodrick, spawning the popular meme "#notmyrodrick", a parody of the "#notmypresident" trend that became popular after the election of President Donald Trump. See more »

Goofs

In Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days Greg looks and sounds a 13-14 year old kid about to be in high school. Yet in The Long Haul, he looks and sounds a 10-year-old kid. See more »

Quotes

[from trailer]
Greg: Are you kidding?
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Crazy Credits

There is a mid-credit scene. See more »

Connections

Spoofs Psycho (1960) See more »

Soundtracks

Wannabe
Performed by Spice Girls
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User Reviews

 
Unbelievably bad. The writers think you and your kids are stupid.
21 May 2017 | by (The Woodlands, Texas) – See all my reviews

The other Diary Of A Wimpy kid films are nothing more than decent or average, but at least they aren't as bad as this. I don't know why this DOAWK entry is particularly awful, especially since it's made by the same director, writers, and producers of the other films. The Long Haul is so poorly made that it should be shown in Filmmaking 101 courses as a "how NOT to make a movie" lesson. In fact, not a single thing in this film is done right. Every character is stupid to the point where it's completely unrealistic. The acting is almost universally horrible, especially from the kid actors who seem to have no idea what's going on. The same background extras are reused in every scene, and most of them even look straight into the camera on multiple occasions. The story is cliché and the script feels like it was actually written by a 10-year-old. However, more than anything else, not a single joke is funny in this film, and most of them make absolutely no sense at all.

Here are some, not all, but SOME of the horrendous moments in this film:

-A bag of Cheetos falls into a hot tub with Greg, resulting in him being dyed orange from the neck down. Not only does this make zero sense, but he then has a three-minute long conversation with his dad while still being dyed orange in his tighty-whities, and his dad never brings it up. Like "hey son, why is your skin orange?" Nope, he never even notices it, as if it's totally normal.

-Rodrick confuses a safe for a microwave and locks their only food in the safe.

-Rodrick confuses cinnamon roles for his brains and guts, and passes out from shock when he sees his little brother eating said cinnamon role, thinking he just ate a piece of his brain.

-The youngest brother wins a piglet at a fair and somehow it's all Greg's fault, even though Greg had absolutely nothing to do with it.

-The Heffley's live in Ohio but it takes them two days to get to Indiana, which is a neighboring state.

-Crashing into a soft bale of hay somehow destroys their van's engine.

-Throughout the entire film, Greg is being chased by a psychotic redneck family for no reason, but he spends the entire film keeping it a secret from his family. Why? Does he think he'll get grounded for being stalked by a murderous redneck? Greg'll run into them somewhere and tell his parents "uh...I-uh, I gotta use the bathroom!" and runs away. At one point, they're even like "Greg, do you know that man? You're acting strange." And he's like "Huh? Who, me? I-uh, I never seen him! I'm not acting strange! Whoops gotta go, bye!" Perhaps if he actually did something to the man, like stole something from him, I'd get why he'd keep it a secret. But that never happens. Why he doesn't inform his parents of a strange man trying to kill him is beyond me.

-The family lose their luggage and it ends up being stolen by the redneck family. Instead of reasonably calling the cops, they decide to chase it down themselves. Later, the Heffley's find the redneck's car at a hotel. Again, instead of calling the cops, they decide to break into their hotel room and steal it back.

-In the dumbest moment of the movie, while the Heffley's are in the above hotel room of the redneck family, the mom decides it'd be best to clean themselves up using their shower. Yes. Right in the middle of a quick and stealthy burglary attempt, they say "wow, we look dirty! We need to wash up!" and they decide to take a shower at the hotel room of the person they're stealing from.

There are much more moments like that, but I'd be here all day listing them. In fact, there is a horrendous, unfunny, or confusing moment roughly every 30 seconds of this film. There are reviews on here calling the acting "fantastic" and the story "amazing", people saying critics are being way too harsh. No, I'd say the critics are exactly correct. None of the other DOAWK films come anywhere close to being this awful. They all had much better acting, directing, writing, stories, funnier jokes, etc. To the people who wrote positive reviews for this film; just because sad music plays over a scene doesn't automatically make the film sad. Just because your 5-year-old liked it doesn't mean it's automatically a great film. In fact, as I was walking out of the theater, a group of young girls no older than 8 said "that film was stupid!" I agree, little girl.


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