Ma Kettle:
Pa, you're lazier than that old hound dog we used to have.
Pa Kettle:
Which one?
Ma Kettle:
The one that used to lean against the wall when she barked.
Elizabeth Parker:
You know, Ma, I bet you once had an hourglass figure.
Ma Kettle:
Yeah, but the sand sure shifted.
Ma Kettle:
Thomas Edison's first name was Thomas!
Tom Kettle:
What's wrong with my name?
Ma Kettle:
They said Thomas is too ordinary.